I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
