For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize