like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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