We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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