just survived the first fart of the relationship.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
