hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
