I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
