I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
id be glad to
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
