You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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