I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
