Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
she looked like the before picture.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
