Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
