the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
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