my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize