I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
