Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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