Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize