I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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