Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
