YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
