I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
