She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
