Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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