do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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