Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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