Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
