That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
