I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
