I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
