Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
