she looked like the bat from fern gully.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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