uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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