This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
