got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
