lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You need a sexual gate keeper
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
