ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
