I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Text me some of your sweat
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
