i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
