I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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