Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
