Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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