Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize