so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
