dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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