Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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