god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
