wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
