problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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