There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
