I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm determined to sit on that face.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
