My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
