it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
