On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Dick very happy bro
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
