How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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