so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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