ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
