Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
