You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
