I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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