We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
wanna go halves on a baby?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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