I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
