her vagine was all disorganized.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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