I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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